Thursday, May 24, 2012

Wally World and Piggy Paint

Now that I live in a(n even more) rural area (than I used to), I have had to scab my own personal Wal-Mart picket line. For my entire adult life I have boycotted Wal-Mart because of its anti-gay, anti-woman policies and practices. Unfortunately, out of necessity it has now become one of the main places I spend my money.

Words cannot described the mixed emotions I have when I enter Wal-Mart. Mainly I want to have a panic attack because the greeters YELL at you. Why did no one tell me this before? Does this not happen anywhere else? Or is it just me? Do I look like a shop-lifter or something? And the check-out people are really rude! One guy was telling me about how roosters rape chickens! (I have a very nice Rooster named Wilson, by the way. He tells the whole neighborhood about how his awesome life-partner Hen lays the best eggs and that he is so proud of her. He is not a rapist.) I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS IN LINE AT WALMART?! All the lead-containing, cheap, poisonous plastic stuff is hard enough to deal with (I know, I know, I'm such a horrible hippy something something whatever). And worst of all, their nail polish prices are freaking orgasmic! Less than 8 bucks for Sally Hanson Salon Effects - new releases too. Yeah, I have a serious moral problem in my life right now. Also, children are starving in Africa. I am a horrible human being.

Anyway, the reason I am even coming out of my Wal-Mart-shopping-closet to you is to talk about Piggy Paint, a natural nail polish spear-headed by a mom and marketed to kids. I got a pair of small bottles for $5 the other day and have used both colors (neither of which came with names and I can't match them to the products featured on their website - in fact the bottles I purchased look a bit different than the ones for sale online).

I gotta say I tried my absolute BEST to like this product. It's natural! And cute! Piggies! C'mon! But no. I can't say that I am glad I spent the $5 on these two polishes. I know it's meant for kids but even when I was young I was outraged when my nailpolish didn't last even a whole day. Outraged I tell you. No joke, my mom refused to buy me any more of it for this reason.

The instructions say for added chip resistance to blow dry on high heat for one minute. I, not owning a blow dryer and also being unwilling to get up from my desk in the middle of my manicure, just held my nails in front of my laptop's fan (which gets nice and toasty). This actually seemed to work really well, I could feel the texture of the paint changing and adhering to my nail, but it didn't seem to do help with the chipping that started to occur the next morning after each application.

The colors are very pretty, a bit pearly. Not super true to bottle but still at least as good as some of the more popular brands out there. But they just don't last. Not even with the heat treatment and top coat.

While the packaging touts these as "odorless" they definitely do have an odor and it's not necessarily less offensive than conventional nail polish but I actually kind of liked the smell.

The other thing I really did not like is that while it peels and flakes of with ease it's very difficult to remove with nail polish remover. Oh, and also when I used french-tip stickers they totally peeled this polish right off. I was bummed. The magenta Piggy Paint with some obnoxiously orange Sinful Color's polish my husband wanted to use on his gun (don't ask) came out SO PRETTY. WHY, WHY PIGGY PAINT?! You have so much potential.

Seriously this manicure didn't even last long enough to get a photo of.

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